Dear Momma,Please come back to work for me. I need my Momma-ger back! I'm so stressed Momma, I flipped out on TRL, and I'm suing my fan website, just cause they said some stuff about my wife. My marriage has cost me my mojo Momma!
When you come back to work for me, can we handle Chris Brown first Momma? The young boy just turned 19 and he got 64's and hot bikes that that he rocks. I can't even dance like I used to Momma!
How am I supposed to keep up with the likes of Chris Brown, Momma? Not to mention he has a hot, publicity-stunt girlfriend, and I'm stuck with this manly looking broad.
Oh and Momma get this, Tameka is mad because I did the August cover of Essence without her, just me and the baby. She was complaining and tried to compare my cover, to Kim and Diddy's cover. I tried explaining to her, that nobody, and I do mean nobody... wants to look at her, but me....Can you believe that Momma?
You were so right, Momma I would have been better off with Chili or Naomi's crazy ass. Maybe at the next taping for the Macy's commercials, I can flirt with Mariah, and take her from that goofy, no-talent having, Nick Cannon. That would be good press, right Momma? I do look better than Nick Cannon, right Momma? I'm open to whatever you suggest this time Momma.
Please forgive me Momma, just come back to work!
Your Baby Boy,
Usher Raymond
P.S. -I love you Momma!
